My Dad's Funeral/Memorial

Today we had the memorial service for my dad at Rolling Hills United Methodist Church.  It was a combination of remembrance, prayer, and humor.  Pastor Jonathan Chute gave a marvelous eulogy  that was a narrative of many parts of my dad's life; he even mentioned things that I didn't know!  He explained to me later that he took notes when he visited with Mom and Dad over the years, and had the notes and eulogy he gave for my Mom when she died 12 years ago.  Jonathan is a truly exceptional man and a wonderful friend and man of God.

Judy Metoyer, my dad's daughter-in-law, my brother Don's first wife, gave a lovely reading, which I'll post when I get a copy from her.  The central theme is that a person is remembered by what he or she has given, not what he or she has acquired.  Judy and I have become especially close in the past several months, and we love each other very much. Her daughter Angela is a special delight, and our son Mike and Angie are pretty close too.

I offered a few memories, and then I sang a funny song that I remember from many family vacations driving in our car, hauling a travel trailer.  We sang songs like Oh Susanna and Red River Valley, and then Dad would sing this song.  I found out this week that it is a parody of a 1905 song.  You can find it on YouTube by searching Ramblin Jack Elliott Old Apple Tree.   Everybody in the congregation laughed and clapped when I had finished.  I know that Dad was happy that I finally found the words!  Later on Jonathan said to me, I don't think anyone has done that at a funeral :-)

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IN THE SHADE OF THE OLD APPLE TREE

It was yesterday that I thought I'd take a bath in some water
Fer a bath I hadn't had in a month or so
Fer the bath I didn't want to spend a quarter
So I went down to the creek where the water was low

I laid my clothes beside an apple tree, there
And then I got into an awful fix
For an old maid came and sat right down beside me
And there she sat from one o'clock till six

In the shade of that old apple tree
I was in water right up to my knees
I had to lay down, while she was around
Till only my nose you could see

The mosquitoes were bitin' my nose
And the turtles were niblin' my toes
I lay there all day, till she went away
From the shade of that old apple tree

It was only yesterday that Jane and I got married

You can bet your life I was a happy groom

There was only one thing that filled my heart with sadness

Was parts of her were scattered all over the room

Her glass eye and false teeth were on the mantle

And on the bed she hung her lock of hair

And the one thing that truly filled my heart with sadness

Was she pitched her wooden leg upon the chair

It was a limb from the old apple tree

I was in water right up to my knees
I had to lay down, while she was around
Till only my nose you could see

The mosquitoes were bitin' my nose
And the turtles were niblin' my toes
I lay there all day, till she went away
From the shade of that old apple tree

Yes I carved out my name and there it was plain

On her limb from the old apple tree!

After this several people gave comments or told stories.  My high-school friend Madeline told a story about when she came with us to our cabin in the mountains.  Dad was working on the reconstruction, and the framing was up but not a lot more.  She watched as he added insulation in the walls and the ceiling, and then he ended up with a small triangular space which he filled with a shape that was just right.  She told him that he was a fantastic estimator, and he said back that he was a lousy estimator, and that he had not intended to insulate that part of the house!  My father the manufacturing engineer.  :-)

Terence Cody mentioned that Dad had helped out the International Cody Family Association for many years by being the genealogist and corresponding with many people and adding their information to the database.  Yep, Dad loved the Cody family and enjoyed going to Cody family reunions all around the country.  Jim Cody was also at the service; Jim has been a family friend for many years.

Ruth Brooker talked about the many trips that she and my dad went on, including the trip to Ireland when they tried to find out information about Ruth's ancestors.  I know that Ruth will miss my dad very, very much.  They talked on the phone every night after Jeapardy, and met at least once a week for some event or other, or lunch and a movie.  

The person with the award for the farthest travel is Steve Black.  Steve and his wife Neva live in Kenai, Alaska.  They've visited Mom and Dad a few times over the years, and Mom and Dad stayed with them after an Alaska cruise one time. I like Steve; he's a pretty neat guy, and I hope I get to visit him and Neva in Alaska.

Bob Chamberlin mentioned Dad's activity in the Family Ministry at church.  After Mom died, Dad kept active to keep her memory alive.  Yep, that was my Dad.  My Mom got him started, and he kept going after she died 12 years ago. Tami and Larry Kittiver old me that they would also miss him in Sunday School and at church.

Some of the dearest people I have grown close to especially during the past year are Marie Sena, Pat Van Putten and Karen Lamoreaux.  I've known them for several years, but they were with me during Dad's last days, and I will love them forever! I hope I can stay in touch!

There were a lot of people at the service today.   A bunch of my cousins, friends from the church, family friends, my personal friends, and a group of my colleagues from the UCLA Library Cataloging & Metadata Center.  My friend Becky came; I met her in Italian class a few years ago, and we've become good friends over the years. 

Also Bernie and Marsha, neighbors from across the street when Dad lived on Montemalaga.  Bernie was Neighborhood Watch captain, and he helped us out in some crisis times when Dad was being heavily scammed and pressured.

So many people in Dad's life have become important to me for a myriad of reasons.  He'll never know all of the relationships that have come about from his life.  I know I haven't mentioned everyone, and I apologize.  But honestly, the care and love expressed for my Dad has been totally overwhelming.  I am grateful, and I praise God for all of you.